A I S L E 1 6 . C O . U K » Chris Hicks’ Poems

Dear John

CHRISHICKS — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 18:47:24 +0000

I’m 29 and I spend too much time Ranking the threats that face human-kind. It’s my hobby.

Currently I’d put ‘War with the Machines’ at about eight, behind; 1. Superbug (natural) 2. Collapse of the food chain; 3. Rise in sea level; 4. Nuclear war; 5. Superbug (man-made) 6. Meteor strike and 7. Spontaneous massive release of methane or ‘earth fart’

Eight. Six if you remove ‘meteor strike’ – [...]

The Yesterday Re-Enactment Society

CHRISHICKS — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 23:02:08 +0000

The Yesterday Re-enactment Society

We, the undersigned, recognise That everything ever was measured in minutes We, the undersigned, recognise That the place we can’t reach is the place that most itches We, the undersigned, recognise The exact thickness of each single ticket We, the undersigned recognise That each day we wake we’re aware that we’ve missed it The Yesterday Re-Enactment Society is now called [...]

Instruction Manual For The Dishwasher My Ex-Flatmate Obviously Thought We Owned

CHRISHICKS — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 00:01:07 +0000

Instruction Manual for the Dishwasher that my ex-flatmate obviously thought we owned

UNIMPORTANT- PLEASE IGNORE COMPLETELY-

Introduction

Congratulations on finding yourself in a house that somehow contains our latest dishwasher. This manual will talk you through the basic operation of the dishwasher. Used properly, this dishwasher will provide literally weeks of functional service, relieving you of the cumbersome [...]