A I S L E 1 6 . C O . U K » Joel Stickley’s Poems

5 Ways To…

Joel — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:09:42 +0000

…Drive Your Man Wild In The Bedroom

Set fire to his pillows Put laxatives in his tea Repeat everything he says in a sarcastic, high-pitched voice Cry; then, when he asks you what’s wrong, laugh Slam a book shut on his testicles

…Lose Weight In A Hurry

Eat only sand (but not too much sand) For every calorie you consume, cut off a [...]

Playing God

Joel — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 11:18:52 +0000

The first fish I make is rubbish. It has no gills, it has no fins, it looks like a wet sock full of sand and, what’s more, it can’t swim. When I throw it in, it just sinks. Yeah, the first fish I make stinks.

The second fish I make is a little better. I manage to get a funky kind of [...]

Why Do You Keep Failing Job Interviews?

Joel — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 11:36:36 +0000

Below are some standard interview questions, each with a range of possible answers. Simply choose the answer that you would give in an interview situation.

Question 1: What do you feel you would bring to the team? (a) An unquantifiable sense of wellbeing. (b) An in-depth understanding of almost all sexually transmitted diseases. (c) A tiny little bowler hat. [...]

NEW WRITING: About The Author by Joel Stickley

Joel — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 10:13:26 +0000

I am astonishing. I am telling you this because you may not have noticed; I am, after all, far more perceptive than you. I am also more handsome and more comfortable in group situations.

My hands are better than your hands. Your hands look like the hands of a child, not the kind of hands that could behead a king or calm a [...]