You shout crossword clues
while I iron my work shirts
and it’s payday tomorrow
and there’s a stack of DVDs we ordered on Amazon
we still haven’t watched
and Stuart Maconie is on the radio
you like him
and we’ve skyplus’d The Apprentice
and it’s only two weeks until we go to New York
and the chicken is nearly roasted
and our friends will be here soon
and we’ve a case of red wine to get through
and a massive Toblerone
and Stuart Maconie has just played Waterloo Sunset
and if it’s still sunny at 8 o’clock
we can drink gin and tonic in the garden
and tell everyone that Katie called this morning
to say she’s expecting twins in September.
But as I sit waiting for our guests to arrive
I can’t help but look at the patio doors and think
‘What if men burst in wearing balaclavas’
and I imagine an elbow through the glass,
a man holding a gun in your mouth
while I am told to fill a bag with valuables.